


But You Haven't

by Detavot



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Abuse, Drug Addiction, Gen, Happy Halloween -- three days late!, Past Torture, Psychological Torture, Torture, very fucked up things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 17:43:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16497239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Detavot/pseuds/Detavot
Summary: It was unfamiliar... It was hostile. And he didn't like unexpected changes.





	But You Haven't

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's very late but please bear with me! I've been so busy ever since school started, and I've begun studying for my uni entrance exams. 
> 
> Thank you for understanding!

    It had been a shock. Yes, that was the best way to describe the first feeling he had felt in such a long time... A type of shock that seemed to shake your entire being, that made the whole world stop for that all-too important second, that made your entire bodily functions cease. He remembered with clarity that type of shell-shock. 

    He remembered how stable his brother's voice had been when investigating Jack the Ripper. Back then, of course, he could do nothing but listen. He had been less than human. He had been unable to think or feel. He remembered his brother's voice, so desperate, screaming the name Sebastian. ~~_Just as he had once screamed the name Ciel._~~  He remembered when his brother's single remaining eye lit up with elation when he won that insignificant game of cricket. 

    It had all made him **~~so fucking angry~~ ** worry.

    It had become his one motivation. The only reason he woke up, the only reason he fought against the binds death had restrained him with, the curtain death had covered him with. That darkness... the darkness his brother could not light up, the darkness he was all alone with... He wanted no part of it. He would not go gently, no; Phantomhives had always been better than that. He would take it all back. 

    His brother wanted this, too. Ciel knew. Ciel had always known what was best for his brother. That power and confidence came with sharing a womb and cradle with his beloved twin, with protecting him against the dark which had once threatened to consume him whole. Now, Ciel needed only to fulfill his duty as the elder brother once more. 

    His brother had once told him he wanted to run a toy shop. It seemed a lifetime ago now that Ciel thought about it, but it had been very recent in the heir lives if he considered it... Ciel still didn't know what had pushed his brother into such foolish thoughts. Perhaps it was the relaxed nature of their parents... Yes, it had to be. That was why Ciel had helped to take carence of that problem, though he hadn't considered the...  _complications_  that later occurred. 

    No matter. He could work with this.     

    There were new problems to deal with... People who were affecting his brother in the wrong way. What had his brother even been thinking, letting immigrants take care of the manor in London? But his brother had always been much more naïve... One could not blame his purity. It warmed Ciel's heart, actually; though the threat those immigrants posed would have to be dealt with. His brother would understand. He'd see past the unimportant lives he had taken when they reunited, Ciel was sure of it.

    ~~**No, that wasn't quite right.**~~

~~_What am I doing?_ ~~

    His brother looked... odd. His eye, which had been wide and shaking with shock, was now trained on the floor. He had stopped trembling. As he turned his back on Ciel, his posture was straight.

    ~~_No, wait, that wasn't_~~

~~_No, no, I don't_ ~~

    It was a scene too much like what had happened that day in the church.

    His brother was leaving him. Again.

    **Don't leave me.**

    "You won't leave, will you?" Ciel asked, a smile on his face. It was a rhetorical question, of course... His brother would never want to leave him unless given no other choice. They had defeated the only thing that could ever separate them. They would be together... Finally, they would always be together. His brother's muffled words blended together in a beautiful harmony.

    ~~_No, please, don't_~~

~~**Shut up.** ~~

    "If you be a good boy, maybe I'll take off that gag. I don't want to treat you like a muffled dog, brother, I really don't."

    ~~_Let him go. Please, please, please..._~~

     ~~ **SHUT UP**~~

    "Will you quit struggling? It will get better soon, I promise... Hush, little brother... I'll let one of your dear friends go if you relax. There's a good boy. See, was that so hard?"

    _Forgive me forgive me forgive me_

    "Why do I always have to threaten someone to make you listen? That's not a way to respect my authority, you know? I don't want to do this anymore..."

    His brother had always been a silent crier... The tears streamed down his face quietly, as if they were too afraid to share their burdens. It was not a plea for help. It was not a silent scream. It was the heart-breaking sight of complete and utter defeat.

    Ciel took the gag off.

    His brother only breathed in softly through his mouth.

    "You are mine," Ciel stated.

    His brother's soft voice, once a tone filled with happy and hopeful memories and ambitions, was now harsh. The kindness had turned into cold hatred. "Yours."

  
    His brother would learn to accept it someday. "Say it properly, now." But, until that day, Ciel didn't mind helping the process. He smiled at his brother as he held the knife to his throat.

    ~~_it's gone it's gone gone gone gone_~~

    "I'm yours... Ciel."

    ~~**no, it's here**~~

    "Don't worry... I'll take care of you. I'll make sure you are never hurt again." 

    ~~_you a r e hurt ing hi m_~~

    "You'll feel good soon... And I would never lie to you. I have plenty of my love to give you."

    What is the best way of taking back your family, do you know?

    It's by making them **addicted** to your love. 

    His brother's eye had a faraway look in it... and then a smile. It was not as bright and carefree as it had once been, but it was the first smile Cirl had seen in a long time. Ciel kissed his forehead. His brother's laughter filled the room.

    Ciel injected more love into his brother's veins.


End file.
